So my club STS (which I first thought was some kind of sexually transmitted disease but is actually an acronym for Speaking Through Silence) put on a Open Mic tonight. Now I skipped one of my classes before this open mic. Because I was running super late and didn’t want to embarrass myself with walking in late and decided to stay out in order to keep myself from a shameful lecture.
But with being out of class I felt ashamed for skipping and decided that maybe by going to this open mic. My spirits would be uplifted and encouraged for another day. To which I sadly discovered they was not. I ended up feeling worse than I did before.
Leaving angered and practically tense about the whole situation, after I had helped them put the room back together. I quickly left seeing as people began to become cliche towards the end of the night and decided it was best to leave and rest back in my dorm.
Angered I wondered why I was sadden tonight. Was it because I didn’t perform… no. Was it because the performances sucked…. no. It was simply the idea that people could group together and be so happy amongst themselves without you. I began to realize that this feeling I was experiencing are the same feelings I feel for couples who openly show their love to each other in rather blatant and annoying ways.
Tonight only reminded me that I have no real friends in STS either than those who had already graduated or was away on internships. I found myself lost in a world that didn’t have any need or even any idea that I existed and therefore causing a displacement in my beliefs.
Therefore I have drawn the conclusion that the next time I go to a open mic. Invite a friend that can cheer you on or at least someone that can just sit beside you for heat during the cold winters.